OK, I wasn't really dragged, it was my idea, lemme explain.... Sometime in March, my brother Jariah called and said we should all move to Columbus(2 hours away) so the guys could get better jobs. I said that's a great idea, but lets go to Tucson(36 hours away) instead!! (Zion's been wanting to for years.) Everything worked out really fast, so two months later, we were on our way!
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Wonderful News!! The ZVX's were granted a 5 year restraining order against the monster!!! We were afraid it would only be good for Ms. ZVX, but it includes the girls, too!! Praise the Lord!!
It was amazing. The Lord surely fought that battle for us. We didn't even have to get into the trial part, we had so many witnesses there for Ms. Zvx from our church that the cruel one didn't have a chance!
We also had the best lawyer in the world, next to Israel of course, and he did it all for no charge. He actually reminded me of Israel while he was in lawyer mode, very intelligent and professional, totally in charge..He was fabulous and you could tell he was so happy to have helped get that great victory for our side. John was totaly inspired and he treated John with a lot of respect. He told John ahead of time that he might need him to help him get papers or something if we actually got into witnesses and all that.
We had 14 people from church go to bat for her, including Bro. Lonnie, a deacon, a psyche ward counselor, a teacher and a nurse. I was so proud of our church for standing up for her, and so thankful for the many at home praying for her.
Is that pic on Zion and Danny's blog really a recent pic of Israel? He looks incredible! Is it really that singer or whoever? I've got pics of him at your wedding and he didn't look like that then.
Zion, keep losing the weight, bud. If that pic of Israel is any indication, you might be the best looking member of this family in a few years!
It's good to know that we won't have to call in a crane to get you and your big head out of your house! Of course, we'll be using a crane in to get me out of this house soon... because I eat all the bon-bons...get it, get it??) Just kidding. I have actually been losing weight. (I might look like a concentration camp survivor soon.)
Naturally I think they are both good looking. I am Zion's M-I-L and Israel's fairy godmother-in-law. While moving today I ran across a letter from Israel from a couple years ago informing me that he was adopting me into said position. (how's that for legalese?) It said I didn't actually have to wear the tiara until such time as his real M-I-L was no longer able to nag, but I figure if he's adopted me I'm adopted.
All I know is that we live in a gated community with round the clock security and the other day when I was taking out the trash and some little teeny-bopper rich kids were smoking weed near my neighbor's house.
Surfer types. Three boys and a blonde girl either, high school or middle school aged.
I don't think they were from the neighborhood but then again, all these rich white kids look alike to me. They were smoking it right in front of a cop's house.
I smelled it and I did not get dizzy or high in the least. I also did not get dizzy when I caught Danny standing by the front gate at Santa Rita High School smoking reefer. And now he's a preacher, so go figure, maybe smoking pot does lead to higher levels of consciousness.
And it's not like I have built up a tolerance or anything, because I've never even had one toke of the stuff in my whole life.
I am also not seeking to move just because some high school kids were smoking reefer by my neighbor's house. I'd rather they do that then drink and leave bottles laying around.
Lyrics to Cheech Marin's Song about Mexican Americans:
Mexican Americans don't like to just get into gang fights, they like flowers and music and white girls named Debbie too.
Mexican Americans are named Chata and Chella and chemma and have a son in law named jeff.
Mexican Americans don't like to get up early in the morning but they have to so they do it real slow.
Mexican Americans love education so they go to night school and take spanish and get a B.
Mexican Americans love their Nana's and their Nono's and their Nina's and their Nino's........ Nano Nano Nina Nono!
Mexican Americans don't like to go to the movies where the dude has to wear contact lenses to make his blue eyes brown cause don't it make my brown eyes blue.....
"And thats all i got, how do ya like it?"
*phone rings* Mexican Americans like to answer telephone calls and say hello to whoever's on the other end
Well, maybe I react weirdly, but every time the kids in the bus were smoking pot it gave me a headache and made me dizzy, even if I opened as many windows as I possibly could. If it has no effect why do they smoke it, I wonder?!
I'm not saying it never happens in nice neighborhoods but at least you have some kind of insulation and there aren't big cracks under the doors. And you can close the windows without suffocating to death.
Oh yeah! Scary fact for the day! This morning I was playing in the living room with Brandon and walked into the kitchen to notice a big man standing on the other side of the fence in the park looking right into the house through the small crack of our open window. The curtains were drawn except for about 6 inches. I don't know what he was doing but he was talking on the radio. It really freaked me out...but I bet they do that in nice neighborhoods too...never happened to me before, but hey! what do I know?
I asked for soem information regarding that house you guys sent. What kind of homeowners association is it in? Wher do the fees go? Is it part of a new development? How big is the development and what does the neighborhood around it look like.
Maybe you could get a camera or video camera and take some shots of the area. We don't want to go all the way to Tucson to look at a house only to find that it's one nice house surrounded by a bunch of blight.
I see I am going to be made fun of for being scared of having a big man looking straight into my house...I don't really know why, because you can ask any girl, they would be scared too. (Security guard or not, which you have no proof that that's what he was.)
Because when you look at a property what you do is look at what comparable properties are selling for in a five mile radius.
You compare the property to other properties that have the same or similar square-footage and the same or similar lot size. Apples to Apples.
Looking at the comps Lillie gave me it appears that that home is a tad over priced. So I am trying to find out what is so special about that property that would make it worth paying more for.
Is this in a particularly high demand area for some reason? Does ity have some special cachet? Is it in a gated community? Is it in proximity to a golf course or a special park area or is it in a particularly good school district? (Amphi doesn't seem all that great)
Is it near the water or a lake? A ritzy shopping center? Why is this such a good location?
Is this an exclusive community that is in high demand? What do the other properties around it look like? Who lives around it, what are the demographics? Is it Yuppies? Is it starving students? Are their renters who don't cut their loan and put their cars up on blocks in the vicinity?
All these things matter.
Does Lute Olson live next door? What makes this property more desireable than other similar properties with the same square-footage and lot size?
I'm not sure how good Lillie is at providing this info because she is a new agent and she may not have the expertise.
The bottom line is I want to find a property that is a good deal with plenty of equity going in. It's a buyer's market right now and deals are out there if you know what to look for.
Wait a minute... Are you suggesting that some neighborhoods are better than others? That someone may actually prefer one neighborhood over another? That things such as surrounding buildings and surrounding residents may affect the desirability of one location over another?
Everything is subjective and life is inherently dangerous.
On ABC the other night they had a program which basically spelled out how dangerous life really is.
Apparantly we are all going to die when an asteroid hits the earth. This will happen just as terrorists unleash a full scale nuclear and biological attack that happens to coincide with global warming destroying the polar icecaps and drowning everyone.
Apparantly the only survivors will be Jeshanah's cockroaches.
So Shan, study those little guys and see if you can learn something from them. If they tell you their secrets, you'll outlive the cataclysm.
Bottom line is you can be afraid or you can live your life being afraid of fear itself.
You can live in a mansion and walk around wearing kleenex boxes on your feet like Howard Hughes because you are afraid of all those dangerous "germs."
Objectively he was fine but subjectively he was in great danger, like Shannah.
I personally like the "get me out of this dump" argument more than the "I'm gonna die of fright and second-hand marijuana smoke argument."
I want a Comic Book Alter Ego but all the really cool Super Heros are white.
All we Mexicans have is Zorro, a couple mutants, some B-List recycled super heros and a bunch of villans.
Although Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman) was half Mexican.
Ramirez in the movie "Highlander" was played by Sean Connery who is Scottish.
What's up with that?
John, is there a little known Scottish clan called "The Ramirez's? " And if so where's my Kilt and Tartan Pattern? Where's my free 100 year old Scotch, my Scottish Terrier and my Scotch tape? Great Scott!! If I go to jail, do I get off Scott Free?
Was James Doohan (Star Trek's Scotty Scottish?)
Other Movie facts: Marlon Brando played Zapata in a movie and Charleton Heston played a Mexican detective in another movie.
A Scotsman clad in a kilt walks up to the counter in an tailors shop. From his pocket he takes a plaid pair of underpants that has been heavily used, torn, patched, sewn, and is currently split down one side.
He asks the proprietor, "How much to replace this, Ian?" The proprietor says, "Why, Angus, that'll be four pence." Then the Scotsman asks, "How much to repair?" The prop. looks the underpant over carefully, and says, "Three pence to repair." The Scotsman ponders for a moment, then says, "I'll be back."
Later in the day, the Scotsman returns with a smile on his face and says, "Ian, the Regiment has voted to repair!"
In WWI, the Germans started calling Scotland's Royal Highland Regiment "the Ladies from Hell" because they faught with such tenacity. The RHR was the last Scottish regiment to wear kilts in battle.
Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big, black, deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. Nothing. He turned to the other guy and said "that must be a deep hole...let's throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom." The men found a bigger rock and both picked it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in. They listened for some time and....nothing. Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it. One man spotted a big log nearby. They picked it up, grunting and groaning, and threw it to the hole, listening intently......nothing. All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into the hole. The men were astounded.
They walked on through the woods, and a little later met an old farmer who asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed...they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods, and run and leap into the big hole. He asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.
The old farmer said "Naw, that can't be my goat...he was chained to a big log." Andy Oliver
Fergus was walking down the village lane, and he chanced to spy his neighbor McDonald on the roof of his cottage, nailing on shingles, so he stopped to watch. He was surprised to see McDonald take a nail, look at it, then throw it away in disgust. Then, taking up another, look at it, mutter in satisfaction, and nail down another shingle.
Fergus watched him for a wee bit, all the while McDonald would repeat the procedure, nailing some, throwing away others. Fergus, (being a thrifty Scotsman) couldn't stand it any more.
"McDonald, ye daft mon, wha' the devil are ye be doin', throwin' away good nails like a daft Irishman?” McDonald, irritated by this said, "Fergus, ye old sheeplivered fool, these damned English nails have half the heads on the wrong side! Fergus snorted in amazed disgust.
"McDonald, ye motley beggar, any slack wit knows those nails be for the other side of the roof!"
Don't you mean "it's pronounced" instead of "its pronounced?" Because "pronounced" is a verb, and "its" is possessive, and it's kind of difficult to own a verb. "Hey! Let go of my run!"
However, if you meant "it is pronounced," then you need to add an apostrophe.
Two brothers, John and Richard lived in the same town. John with his 12 year old goat, Richard with their 88 year old Mother. John's whole life was his goat. He never went anywhere without her. One day he was faced with a terrible decision. He had to go to England on business for his company and he could not take the goat into England with having to quarantine her for 14 days. He wouldn't do that so he was faced with either losing his job or leaving his goat.
Finally he decided to trust his brother with the goat for the week he would be gone. He gave Richard detailed instructions, schedules, food, etc. Finally he flew to London and called Richard every few hours to make sure Gracie the goat was ok. Four days of this went by and John was really getting to be a pain in the neck.
On the fifth day when he called John asked Richard how Gracie was and Richard told him. "Gracie is dead"! Well as you can imagine, John nearly had a heart attack.
When he recovered he said to Richard, "That was the most cruel thing I ever heard. You know how much I loved that goat, why couldn't you have broken it to me gently. You know like when I called say something like, well she's OK but she is up on the roof. And then when I called the next time, tell me oh, bad news, she fell off the roof and she's at the vets. And then the next time break the news that she passed away. At least I would have been a little prepared for the bad news.
"Yes, you are right John. I am sorry for being so heartless."
John accepted Richard's apology for being so uncaring, and then said, "Oh, by the way, how's Mother?"
Richard then said, "Well, John, she's OK, but she's on the roof!"
Did you know that Mexican Americans have won more Congressional Medals of Honor (The highest award given for bravery in combat) than any other ethnic group?
Twelve in all.
Sing with me
"We are the bravest my friend, and we'll keep on fighting till the end!"
Before my mom was pregnant with me, she and my dad had had a lot of trouble having a child. One day, as she lay on her stomach on the bed meditating, a light filled the room behind her.
A voice said, "You have a son to name." My mom said, "I'll name him David." The voice was silent. Then my mom said, "I'll name him Nathan." Again, the voice was silent.
Then, my mom said it was like a light bulb went off. "I know. I'll name him John." And the light faded away.
Speaking of bagpipes.... did I mention the other day at the wedding that I was all excited when I saw a bagpiper outside the church. I told Marcia, whowas sitting beside me about it and told her I just LOVED to hear bagpipes. Then the guy came into the somewhat small sanctuary and turned them on or whatever and after a few bars I was like, "make it stop! It was awful. Inside a building all you hear is this really loud annoying hum.
Hey Shan!! This is Maria...just wanted to say hi!! How's life??? I miss ya...not that we really got to see each other when you were in Ohio....but I miss us when we were little...and didnt have any worries! haha...those were some GOOD times....I love ya Shan!! *HUGZ*
We just got back from the New Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus.
No more three rings, no more Lions and Tigers at least in this one. Just one huge oval ring that takes up the whole arena.
They still have the elephants and the motorcycles riding around in the ball of death, and the Chinese acrobats are amazing, but you gotta have Lions and Tigers and maybe a Bear or it's not the Greatest Show on Earth anymore.
The strong man and the woman that trains dogs, cats and birds were really cheezy. The clowns were terrible.
It was much better when I was a kid.
Gabriel liked it but Miguel got really squirmy after the first hour.
We got a hold of Lilly today, and she is going to have her people get the facts sheet prepared for you on Tuesday, (they're off until then). She said it has all the info that you have requested, plus it can tell you if the neighbors have termites and what color they are. (the termites, I didn't know they came in different colors, but, it's her analogy, not mine...) It will be about 30 pages long and she said she'll get you a copy and us one, too. She is able to get that much detailed information about any house that you are interested in, but to be honest, we haven't been sure what houses you might actually want that detailed of information about. We don't want to bore you with 30 pages about 20 different houses if you don't really like the house in the first place. Anyhow, as soon as we get any new information, we'll make sure to pass it on.
100 comments:
It was amazing. The Lord surely fought that battle for us. We didn't even have to get into the trial part, we had so many witnesses there for Ms. Zvx from our church that the cruel one didn't have a chance!
We also had the best lawyer in the world, next to Israel of course, and he did it all for no charge. He actually reminded me of Israel while he was in lawyer mode, very intelligent and professional, totally in charge..He was fabulous and you could tell he was so happy to have helped get that great victory for our side. John was totaly inspired and he treated John with a lot of respect. He told John ahead of time that he might need him to help him get papers or something if we actually got into witnesses and all that.
We had 14 people from church go to bat for her, including Bro. Lonnie, a deacon, a psyche ward counselor, a teacher and a nurse. I was so proud of our church for standing up for her, and so thankful for the many at home praying for her.
Is that pic on Zion and Danny's blog really a recent pic of Israel? He looks incredible! Is it really that singer or whoever?
I've got pics of him at your wedding and he didn't look like that then.
Zion, keep losing the weight, bud. If that pic of Israel is any indication, you might be the best looking member of this family in a few years!
(Not saying that you aren't now or anything) Oops.
That's cuz when I was in Ohio I was like 200 lbs. Fattest evah!!
Losing 25 lbs makes big difference. Or losing 40 lbs and gaining 15 back.
Thats it, I'm not eating another bite untill I've lost 25 pounds!
Good luck with that!
Mom, the pic on chubby and tubby probably isn't really Israel. That's really a doctored photo of Benicio del Toro...
According to my sources, if you keep going on and on about him, his head won't fit though any doors... (apparently it's almost that way already!)
Don't be mad at me, I just report on what I am told by reliable sources!!!
OK since you doubt my veracity I'll just have to post another photo.
My fans will just have to stay tuned.
I'll be fine, both the front of my house and my bedroom have double doors.
It's good to know that we won't have to call in a crane to get you and your big head out of your house! Of course, we'll be using a crane in to get me out of this house soon... because I eat all the bon-bons...get it, get it??) Just kidding. I have actually been losing weight. (I might look like a concentration camp survivor soon.)
Israel
You should have stopped with the glamour shot. The other ones look just like you but skinnier.
Glamour shot?
Puh-leeze!!
Time to visit the eye doc, Sharla.
Naturally I think they are both good looking. I am Zion's M-I-L and Israel's fairy godmother-in-law.
While moving today I ran across a letter from Israel from a couple years ago informing me that he was adopting me into said position. (how's that for legalese?)
It said I didn't actually have to wear the tiara until such time as his real M-I-L was no longer able to nag, but I figure if he's adopted me I'm adopted.
I wonder if he left himself any loopholes.
< evil m-i-l laugh >
LOL, Mom
I think you are a natural m-i-l.
And by the way, Josh, you're cute as a button too! :)
Now I know you're lying...
Zion needs to change the Fantasy Football Draft date and time again...
A Friday at 8 a.m. works for no one.
Saturday won't work for me.
Zion, you make it sound like we just made that up.! It smelled very strong and we were both getting dizzy. We need to get out of this neighborhood!
Cool...
Free Wacky Weed second hand smoke.
Maybe now they'll relax a bit.
YOU need to lay off the weed, freak!
All I know is that we live in a gated community with round the clock security and the other day when I was taking out the trash and some little teeny-bopper rich kids were smoking weed near my neighbor's house.
Surfer types. Three boys and a blonde girl either, high school or middle school aged.
I don't think they were from the neighborhood but then again, all these rich white kids look alike to me. They were smoking it right in front of a cop's house.
I smelled it and I did not get dizzy or high in the least. I also did not get dizzy when I caught Danny standing by the front gate at Santa Rita High School smoking reefer. And now he's a preacher, so go figure, maybe smoking pot does lead to higher levels of consciousness.
And it's not like I have built up a tolerance or anything, because I've never even had one toke of the stuff in my whole life.
I am also not seeking to move just because some high school kids were smoking reefer by my neighbor's house. I'd rather they do that then drink and leave bottles laying around.
I did listen to a "Cheech & Chong" comedy record once at my cousin Peter's house. I don't know if that builds up a tolerence or not.
Lyrics to Cheech Marin's Song about Mexican Americans:
Mexican Americans don't like to just get into gang fights,
they like flowers and music and white girls named Debbie too.
Mexican Americans are named Chata and Chella and chemma
and have a son in law named jeff.
Mexican Americans don't like to get up early in the morning
but they have to so they do it real slow.
Mexican Americans love education so they go to night school
and take spanish and get a B.
Mexican Americans love their Nana's and their Nono's and their
Nina's and their Nino's........ Nano Nano Nina Nono!
Mexican Americans don't like to go to the movies where the
dude has to wear contact lenses to make his blue eyes brown
cause don't it make my brown eyes blue.....
"And thats all i got, how do ya like it?"
*phone rings*
Mexican Americans like to answer telephone calls and say hello
to whoever's on the other end
Well, maybe I react weirdly, but every time the kids in the bus were smoking pot it gave me a headache and made me dizzy, even if I opened as many windows as I possibly could. If it has no effect why do they smoke it, I wonder?!
I'm not saying it never happens in nice neighborhoods but at least you have some kind of insulation and there aren't big cracks under the doors. And you can close the windows without suffocating to death.
Oh yeah! Scary fact for the day! This morning I was playing in the living room with Brandon and walked into the kitchen to notice a big man standing on the other side of the fence in the park looking right into the house through the small crack of our open window. The curtains were drawn except for about 6 inches. I don't know what he was doing but he was talking on the radio. It really freaked me out...but I bet they do that in nice neighborhoods too...never happened to me before, but hey! what do I know?
Sounds like the neighborhood watch.
I asked for soem information regarding that house you guys sent. What kind of homeowners association is it in? Wher do the fees go? Is it part of a new development? How big is the development and what does the neighborhood around it look like.
Maybe you could get a camera or video camera and take some shots of the area. We don't want to go all the way to Tucson to look at a house only to find that it's one nice house surrounded by a bunch of blight.
I have heard nothing...
Play the "Who is the mystery guest game" at the Tubby & Chubby site.
I see I am going to be made fun of for being scared of having a big man looking straight into my house...I don't really know why, because you can ask any girl, they would be scared too. (Security guard or not, which you have no proof that that's what he was.)
Does it have a gate?
I know you said it has a swimming pool.
Is there a country club?
How long has the house been on sale?
Is there a lake?
Does the community have a name?
Does the homeowners association have a name?
Can we look it up on the internet?
Are there restriction on the properties around there (does landscaping have to be approved by a board?)
Who governs the homeowners association and how long has it been around?
Do you know the name of the developer?
golf course?
Any other information you might have?
Because one wants to know what one gets for homeowners association fees that are to be paid in perpetuity and can be raised.
Other rules and regulations?
Por favor...
It looks pretty nice, although helpful, isn't all that informative.
Why am I asking so many questions?
Because when you look at a property what you do is look at what comparable properties are selling for in a five mile radius.
You compare the property to other properties that have the same or similar square-footage and the same or similar lot size. Apples to Apples.
Looking at the comps Lillie gave me it appears that that home is a tad over priced. So I am trying to find out what is so special about that property that would make it worth paying more for.
Is this in a particularly high demand area for some reason? Does ity have some special cachet? Is it in a gated community? Is it in proximity to a golf course or a special park area or is it in a particularly good school district?
(Amphi doesn't seem all that great)
Is it near the water or a lake? A ritzy shopping center? Why is this such a good location?
Is this an exclusive community that is in high demand? What do the other properties around it look like? Who lives around it, what are the demographics? Is it Yuppies? Is it starving students? Are their renters who don't cut their loan and put their cars up on blocks in the vicinity?
All these things matter.
Does Lute Olson live next door? What makes this property more desireable than other similar properties with the same square-footage and lot size?
I'm not sure how good Lillie is at providing this info because she is a new agent and she may not have the expertise.
The bottom line is I want to find a property that is a good deal with plenty of equity going in. It's a buyer's market right now and deals are out there if you know what to look for.
Wait a minute... Are you suggesting that some neighborhoods are better than others? That someone may actually prefer one neighborhood over another? That things such as surrounding buildings and surrounding residents may affect the desirability of one location over another?
Say it isn't so!
Yep!
I don't remember ever suggesting otherwise.
I just argued that some folks were being a little overdramatic when describing their "dangerous" living conditions.
But "dangerous" is a subjective term, no?
I MISS YOU, JOHN!
Everything is subjective and life is inherently dangerous.
On ABC the other night they had a program which basically spelled out how dangerous life really is.
Apparantly we are all going to die when an asteroid hits the earth. This will happen just as terrorists unleash a full scale nuclear and biological attack that happens to coincide with global warming destroying the polar icecaps and drowning everyone.
Apparantly the only survivors will be Jeshanah's cockroaches.
So Shan, study those little guys and see if you can learn something from them. If they tell you their secrets, you'll outlive the cataclysm.
Bottom line is you can be afraid or you can live your life being afraid of fear itself.
You can live in a mansion and walk around wearing kleenex boxes on your feet like Howard Hughes because you are afraid of all those dangerous "germs."
Objectively he was fine but subjectively he was in great danger, like Shannah.
I personally like the "get me out of this dump" argument more than the "I'm gonna die of fright and second-hand marijuana smoke argument."
But that's just me...
My name only has one "n". Ever.
But what about your comic book alter ego - "Shannah The She-Devil?" (As seen on Tubby & Chubby)
The facial resemblance and the name can't be just a coincidence.
I figure Marvel Comics just added the "N" because they didn't want to pay you royalties.
I can sue them if you want me to.
I want a Comic Book Alter Ego but all the really cool Super Heros are white.
All we Mexicans have is Zorro, a couple mutants, some B-List recycled super heros and a bunch of villans.
Although Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman) was half Mexican.
Ramirez in the movie "Highlander" was played by Sean Connery who is Scottish.
What's up with that?
John, is there a little known Scottish clan called "The Ramirez's? " And if so where's my Kilt and Tartan Pattern? Where's my free 100 year old Scotch, my Scottish Terrier and my Scotch tape? Great Scott!! If I go to jail, do I get off Scott Free?
Was James Doohan (Star Trek's Scotty Scottish?)
Other Movie facts: Marlon Brando played Zapata in a movie and Charleton Heston played a Mexican detective in another movie.
And why is London Metropolitan Police Headquarters called Scotland Yard?
Are the Scottish particularly crime prone?
Do you have to eat Haggis? Can you play the Bagpipes?
Do you wear dresses 'stead of knickers sometimes when no one's looking?
Can you beam people up?
That's it, I'm all out...
Wait...
Do you play hop scotch?
Did you know that goat's milk is used more widely throughout the world than cow's milk?
That's udderly ridiculous.
ROFL, Becca!
HAHAHA, John!
A Wee Bit O' Scottish Humor
A Scotsman clad in a kilt walks up to the counter in an tailors shop. From his pocket he takes a plaid pair of underpants that has been heavily used, torn, patched, sewn, and is currently split down one side.
He asks the proprietor, "How much to replace this, Ian?" The proprietor says, "Why, Angus, that'll be four pence." Then the Scotsman asks, "How much to repair?" The prop. looks the underpant over carefully, and says, "Three pence to repair." The Scotsman ponders for a moment, then says, "I'll be back."
Later in the day, the Scotsman returns with a smile on his face and says, "Ian, the Regiment has voted to repair!"
In WWI, the Germans started calling Scotland's Royal Highland Regiment "the Ladies from Hell" because they faught with such tenacity. The RHR was the last Scottish regiment to wear kilts in battle.
A bitof goat humor:
Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big, black, deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. Nothing.
He turned to the other guy and said "that must be a deep hole...let's throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom."
The men found a bigger rock and both picked it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in. They listened for some time and....nothing.
Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it.
One man spotted a big log nearby. They picked it up, grunting and groaning, and threw it to the hole, listening intently......nothing.
All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into the hole. The men were astounded.
They walked on through the woods, and a little later met an old farmer who asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed...they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods, and run and leap into the big hole. He asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.
The old farmer said "Naw, that can't be my goat...he was chained to a big log."
Andy Oliver
I love your brogue John but its pronounced "farted" not "faught" with such tenacity.
No wonder they wear Kilts.
or did you mean "fought?"
Nah, couldn't be...
Fergus was walking down the village lane, and he chanced to spy his neighbor McDonald on the roof of his cottage, nailing on shingles, so he stopped to watch. He was surprised to see McDonald take a nail, look at it, then throw it away in disgust. Then, taking up another, look at it, mutter in satisfaction, and nail down another shingle.
Fergus watched him for a wee bit, all the while McDonald would repeat the procedure, nailing some, throwing away others.
Fergus, (being a thrifty Scotsman) couldn't stand it any more.
"McDonald, ye daft mon, wha' the devil are ye be doin', throwin' away good nails like a daft Irishman?”
McDonald, irritated by this said, "Fergus, ye old sheeplivered fool, these damned English nails have half the heads on the wrong side!
Fergus snorted in amazed disgust.
"McDonald, ye motley beggar, any slack wit knows those nails be for the other side of the roof!"
Don't you mean "it's pronounced" instead of "its pronounced?" Because "pronounced" is a verb, and "its" is possessive, and it's kind of difficult to own a verb. "Hey! Let go of my run!"
However, if you meant "it is pronounced," then you need to add an apostrophe.
Hey guys, let's play grammar police!
LOL, John!!
Two brothers, John and Richard lived in the same town. John with his 12 year old goat, Richard with their 88 year old Mother. John's whole life was his goat. He never went anywhere without her. One day he was faced with a terrible decision. He had to go to England on business for his company and he could not take the goat into England with
having to quarantine her for 14 days. He wouldn't do that so he was faced with either losing his job or leaving his goat.
Finally he decided to trust his brother with the goat for the week he would be gone. He gave Richard detailed instructions,
schedules, food, etc. Finally he flew to London and called Richard every few hours to make sure Gracie the goat was ok. Four days of this went by and John was really getting to be a pain in the neck.
On the fifth day when he called John asked Richard how Gracie was and Richard told him. "Gracie is dead"! Well as you can imagine, John nearly had a heart attack.
When he recovered he said to Richard, "That was the most cruel thing I ever heard. You know how much I loved that goat, why couldn't you have broken it to me gently. You know like when I called say something like, well she's OK but she is up on the roof. And then when I called the next time, tell me oh, bad news, she fell off the roof and she's at the vets. And then the next time break the news that she passed away. At least I would have been a little prepared for the bad news.
"Yes, you are right John. I am sorry for being so heartless."
John accepted Richard's apology for being so uncaring, and then said, "Oh, by the way, how's Mother?"
Richard then said, "Well, John, she's OK, but she's on the roof!"
When the RHR "faught" did they all get "kilt?"
Did you know that Mexican Americans have won more Congressional Medals of Honor (The highest award given for bravery in combat) than any other ethnic group?
Twelve in all.
Sing with me
"We are the bravest my friend, and we'll keep on fighting till the end!"
What are you trying to tell us with that song, Israel?
Got me there, John.
Guess I faugot an apostrophe...
By the way John, why are you named after a toilet?
That is maybe the lamest joke I have ever heard. What grade are you in now, Israel? 2nd or 3rd?
"...No time for losers cuz we are the bravest, of the Wooooorld!!!"
Not trying to say you're a chicken Shana with one "N" -- Sheesh so sensitive!!
Oh yeah Shanah and noticing that someone forgot an apostrophe is brilliant stuff!!
They can't ALL be gems!!!
Did you know that Lincoln's children kept goats in the White House?
My name is Jeshanah, you can call me Shanah, but it's "Shanah", not Shana, or Shannah or any other bizzare ways you can come up with to spell it.
Why are you so obsessed with goats?
The only G.O.A.T. I care about is me...
(Greatest of All Time)
Where I got my name:
Before my mom was pregnant with me, she and my dad had had a lot of trouble having a child. One day, as she lay on her stomach on the bed meditating, a light filled the room behind her.
A voice said, "You have a son to name." My mom said, "I'll name him David." The voice was silent. Then my mom said, "I'll name him Nathan." Again, the voice was silent.
Then, my mom said it was like a light bulb went off. "I know. I'll name him John." And the light faded away.
So no, I was not named after a toilet.
By the way, the name John means "God is gracious."
And I can certainly say that in my case that has been more than true.
I thought that's what we were supposed to do on here, come up with random things to talk about and then go and on about them.
I'm heading back to Lima now. Have fun kids.
Doggone schizophrenia! Then she went out and changed the fuse...
So, what's so bad about toilets?
Toilets are great! Probably the single most useful thing in my house.
They are very underrated if you ask me...
Hey just kidding!
Don't get mad John is a fine name.
Ayy AYY YAYYY!!!
No te enojes Juan!
Juan yew need to learn to take a yoke man!
Israel means "Prince of God" and it is the only name ever bestowed directly by God on someone after a wrestling match.
I have been called "Lebanon" "PLO" "Beriut" and "McMuffin Head" (I have sort of a large noggin) and I've never once batted an eye.
Just don't call me late for dinner.
And that's the second cheesy joke for the day. Don't stop, you're on a roll!
Shan
Just go back to the "Get me out of this dump" argument. Quick! And stop being hostile, he's just playin around.
ummm, I don't know what you mean by being hostile. I was joking around as much as anyone was.
Speaking of bagpipes.... did I mention the other day at the wedding that I was all excited when I saw a bagpiper outside the church. I told Marcia, whowas sitting beside me about it and told her I just LOVED to hear bagpipes. Then the guy came into the somewhat small sanctuary and turned them on or whatever and after a few bars I was like, "make it stop! It was awful. Inside a building all you hear is this really loud annoying hum.
Sorry hon, I thought you sounded offended. It's hard to tell on here sometimes.
Israel, I think John left his computer and is on the way to Lima.
Yes he is, he gave us a call to let me know he really enjoyed my goat jokes...haha
Juan has quite the sense of humor!
Hey Shan!! This is Maria...just wanted to say hi!! How's life??? I miss ya...not that we really got to see each other when you were in Ohio....but I miss us when we were little...and didnt have any worries! haha...those were some GOOD times....I love ya Shan!! *HUGZ*
Israel, I can take a joke. But once you've heard it a thousand times, it ceases to be funny.
Hey, maybe you could ask me how the weather is up here. I haven't heard that one for at least three days!
I was saving that for a special occasion, but what the hey...
"How's the weather up there?"
HERE'S ANOTHER GOAT JOKE:
BAAAA!! BAAAA! BAAAA!! baaaaah!!!
BAAAh! baaaaaaaaaaaa...
Get it?
I can't say that I do...
Now that was a baaaaaaaaad joke!
Lets have a baaaaad joke contest.
My niece told me this one.
"Why did all the animals shake with fear when the Panda walked into the bar?"
"Because they know he eats shoots and leaves."
HER DE HAR HAR!!!
98
99
100!
We just got back from the New Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus.
No more three rings, no more Lions and Tigers at least in this one. Just one huge oval ring that takes up the whole arena.
They still have the elephants and the motorcycles riding around in the ball of death, and the Chinese acrobats are amazing, but you gotta have Lions and Tigers and maybe a Bear or it's not the Greatest Show on Earth anymore.
The strong man and the woman that trains dogs, cats and birds were really cheezy. The clowns were terrible.
It was much better when I was a kid.
Gabriel liked it but Miguel got really squirmy after the first hour.
Oh, and Becca, no goats either.
Aww, man, What's a circus without goats?
We got a hold of Lilly today, and she is going to have her people get the facts sheet prepared for you on Tuesday, (they're off until then). She said it has all the info that you have requested, plus it can tell you if the neighbors have termites and what color they are. (the termites, I didn't know they came in different colors, but, it's her analogy, not mine...) It will be about 30 pages long and she said she'll get you a copy and us one, too. She is able to get that much detailed information about any house that you are interested in, but to be honest, we haven't been sure what houses you might actually want that detailed of information about. We don't want to bore you with 30 pages about 20 different houses if you don't really like the house in the first place. Anyhow, as soon as we get any new information, we'll make sure to pass it on.
I can't believe they didn't have goats!
Shanah,
Great!!
Thanks!!
No we don't want 30 pages on all the houses. Just a few.
Remember that one near Sabino at 300 K, is that one still available?
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